Season Winners


Tim L
1st Place

MIke W
2nd Place

Fernando C
3rd Place

Susan M
The Bubble

Roman R

Game 2














Game 4


















Game 5























2015 Season Overall Statistics

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2015 Game 10

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November 14th, 2015:

The C'Mon Baby! Poker League has completed its 5th full season, playing the game we all know and love: How Many Your-Mom Jokes Can We Get In Before Shit Gets Real? Dærick took the win, throwing a wicked curve ball when he tossed Your-Dad grenade into the ring for the first time ever! Dærick then went from pitcher to catcher in the space of one comeback. But the grenade did its damage, and Dærick stood proud! A little bow-legged, but standing.

We can look back on a lot of things this year, but some moments stand out: Kelly Gröss emerging as a solid player... she took on the Gröss name on August, but not his skills at the table, actually surpassing him for three of her six appearances this season. Two monkeys were tossed of the backs of some of our founding members; both Fernando and Dærick picked up wins this season, nixing a span of over two years for each of them. The difference being Fernando was like a shark, always lurking close to that first place spot, though sometimes swimming in the Sea of Dispair with a few of his early round exits. Dærick, on the other hand, was like the bear in winter. He rose from his nap, got hit in the head with a win as it was flying by, and then plopped right back down in his cave of solitude. Mike managed to win the Triple Crown, as well as keep Tim out of it. In Tim's questionably humble opinion, the two biggest moments of the season were his. The first was way back in Game 2: Dærick was poised to knock Tim out and come out of his poker coma early. He pushed with AK to Tim's 66. The flop came A-K-who cares. Tim missed on the Turn, and was left with a two-outer for his life. Dærick flips his fate and the 6 comes down to the table, bucking the 19-1 odds and giving Tim renewed life. And the moment of the season came on Game 7. It was our shortest game to date, with only 5 players throwing their chips into the wind. The hand started normally, and it appeared that both Tim and Mike were making a deceitful attempt at the pot. Each lying liar luring the other in deep, not knowing the snare was being set. The River comes. Each pull the trap, as Tim bets, Mike raises, and Tim comes back with an all-in that gives Mike a small stroke and he desperately tries to talk himself down, even knowing that only one hand could beat him. The straight flush. Like the one Tim was holding. Cards were turned, the winning hand revealed and Mike sat stunned. First at the table, and then on the couch before realizing he didn't have to wallow in his loss. Tim once again busted someone out in record time. First it was drunken John H, who may not have remembered he was playing poker. One or two seasons later, it was Kelly then-Collin, Who thought she was going to be the hero of the game, knocking out her nemesis with a killer full house in Stud. But Tim had a bigger boat and sunk the up-and-comer right in her tracks in just three hands. Mike was not so lucky, lasting two hands and a mere 6:38.

We could have had an epic battle for the top spot for 2015, with Tim only 9 points ahead of Mike, one misplayed hand could mean the difference between 1st or 2nd place and bragging rights going into the 2016 season. But alas, the Triple Crown weighed heavy on his head, as he was not able to play in the final game. Neither was his partner in crime, Janeane, who normally graced out games with a handful of F Bombs for our enjoyment. In the end, my only friend, the end, Tim never lost his grip on 1st place and managed to wrest the record for most points in a season, formerly held by Fernando after the 2013 season. While it would have been nice to have that Tim/Mike showdown, Tim got over it quickly. We also welcomed a new playa, who REALLY can't wait until February to get his game on (welcome, Rich)! We also came up with a new position, allowing the league to have someone in place to put Fernando on tilt for every game... if you will, a designated Ron for when we are Ron-less!!

Like most of our games this year, just about everyone had a piece of the poker pie, which is not a euphemism. Everyone that is, except Cooper, who gave his chips away pretty quickly this time. Dærick made a colossal error through the first three betting rounds, but hit the Hail Mary on the River when he pushed, Bringing sanity to the hand, and insanity to Tim, who was pissed because he had to acknowledge Dærick's nice move. Newcomer, Rich, managed to play with enthusiasm and gusto, doubling up at least twice, and possibly a third, only to be cut down in his prime by Dærick. He also outlasted his ride, which is a nice dig when you're the newb. Fernando would fall short once again, but this time he pulled his britches up and didn't let one of several men keep him down. In an odd turn of events, Tim almost had as many points as the winner...

After a lot of Tim's balls were eaten and beer was consumed and cookies from heaven were drooled over, the season wound down with quiet dignity and pride as each player slowly walked to the rail, knowing that they did not do good enough to come close to Tim this season. His message to all: Be Excellent To Each Other. No one likes Tim.

6th - Cooper, busted by Tim - straight over tripped up Jacks.
5th - Rich, busted by Dærick - two pair over one pair.
4th - Kelly, busted by Tim - flush over flush (it should be noted that of the 9 games Kelly has played, Tim has busted her 6 times.)
3rd - Dærick, busted by Tim, setting the world back in balance, AA over King High, taking $5 in bounties.

2nd - Tim, busted by Fernando, pair over pair, earning $45 for the place, and $15 for the bounties.

And the game went to Fernando, taking the win after over an hour of heads-up play against Tim. He earned $80 for the win, and $10 in bounties.

The poker gods decided to humor Dærick and allowed him to be the only player to get bonus points this game, taking home a point each for a full house and a 7/2 winner. YAAAAY Dærick!!

Big thanks to the Walters, The Grössi, Ms. McCaughan and Mrs. Landucci for hosting events this year. As always, other players are welcome to host if you have the ability to do so.

We will see the top 8 some time in January to see if the League Winner can also take home the Championship Cash, which hasn't been done since the first season. Or will Janeane continue her dominance in the Championship Game, having won half of them?



2015 Game 9

(honorary phrase: 3-6-F**K!)

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October 17th, 2015:

The small village of West Hills was ravaged by plague and pestilence, forcing the CB!PL to change venues at the last moment. The mayor of Moorpark offered up Susan's house, and the wretched hoard arrived to play some poker and collude against Tim to keep him from taking his shot at the other available Triple Crown. Whoever they prayed to, sacrificed to, or bribed came through and made life miserable for Tim. That last sentence saddens no one.

We had 7 total players, and after an initial scare for Mike early on where it appeared to him that Tim may have once again potentially screwed him in the opening, the game took on a much darker, scarier turn. At least for Tim. While everyone else enjoyed a friendly game of Seven Card Stud, Tim was fighting for his poker life almost immediately. Hand after hand, Tim handed over chips in large quantities to the others as they all laughed at him. Tim won just two hands this game, too little too late. His only meaningful contribution to the game was possibly the best catch phrase the League has seen. When the clock was running down on the 2nd round, Tim (already a short stack and getting slapped with the big blind curse) noticed that time was winding down. As the next hand was dealt with Tim getting the big bind again, he looked over to confirm the blinds seeing it was now hitting 300/600/1200 and yelled out "Three, Six, FUCK!" This became the catch-phrase of the night and likely the season, soon available on shirts everywhere. This also spawned Ron to ask the autobiographical question "how much is fuck?" Soon after, Tim was banished to the Loser's Lounge, picking up only a single point for the first time in 2 full seasons!! Additionally, for the 3rd season in a row Tim is in 1st place walking in to the last game of the season, and having to fight to keep that 1st place position and take the season. As we understand it, Janeane, in an awesomely cruel twist of fate, booked yet another vacation on poker night. You'll be missed, Mike!

(Seriously, haven't you learned to check the poker calendar before booking vacations?)

After all that happened in the first hour, the rest of this recap is a blur since the official keeper of the happenings was no longer happening. So, here is what I [Tim] think happened.

Susan was the only one to pick up extra points (the fix is in?)
Fernando was disgusted by the way at least one hand played out
Mike was happy with the way at least one had of Fernando's played out
Janeane dropped a ton of F Bombs (from wherever she was, since she wasn't at the game) Dærick sang
Ron once again nearly put Fernando on tilt with his irascibly playful questions and faked Alzheimer's
Cooper sat and looked pretty
Alec played bongos in the corner, a monkey on each shoulder
Colors! So many pretty colors!
When the dust finally settled over the table, the players had exited in this order:

7th - Tim, busted by Fernando. 2 pair over 1 pair.
6th - Cooper, busted by Susan. Aces and Fives over Jacks and Nines.
5th - Dærick, busted by Susan. Full house over Tens.
4th - Ron, busted by Mike.

As Ron and Mike go to toe to toe, Ron mishears Mike and mucks his hand!! Game over! Remember, kids, always make sure it's okay to muck!! Once it goes in, it doesn't come out! Just ask Dærick!! [yeah. ask me. please. -D]

3rd - Fernando, busted by Mike. 2 pair over 1 pair, taking $5 in bounties.
2nd - Mike, busted by Susan. No idea what the hand was. Too excited it was over. Taking $50 in prize money and $10 in bounties

And 1st Prize goes to the homer! Susan takes home $100 for the win and $20 for the bounties!

We had only two extra points, and guess what! They were to Susan as well. Home-court advantage wins for a second game in a row...

And so we turn to the final game of the season. Once again many places are up for grabs! Can Mike weasel out of family vacation-time and catch Tim, or will he hold him off again?


2015 Game 8

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September 19th, 2015:

September's South Bay Strandtacular kicked off with nine hopefuls vying for the top spot, but ultimately there can be only one. This month's shindig saw a table of usual suspects, plus the return of one long-absent CB! player... Welcome back, Jason! Jason started his night off using the bulk of his Luck Points™ on parking, leaving him precious few for the actual game. He scored a spot literally in front of the apartment with mere steps to the door. By contrast Tim, Susan, and very pregnant Courtney all parked 12 miles away and made the 15 mile walk uphill to the game over 22 miles of dark and deadly terrain. No one likes Jason.

Tim arrived with his bad-beat saké at the ready, looking to break his South Bay Curse™ but knowing deep inside his doom was inevitable. More about Tim in a moment.

Alec made an appearance after making sure the game was indeed Hold'Em and not something icky like Stud or Omaha (those are scary games). Jason decided to use more of his precious few Luck Points™ to take his 10s up against Alec's Kings, hit the third 10, and showed Alec to the door. Alec screams for vengeance, and a lifelong blood-feud was born. Probably.

Bolstered by his fortune and growing chip stack, Jason uses the last of his Luck Points™ to knock out Courtney and send her walking 28 miles uphill back to her car. Across the snow-covered mine field. And past a dragon. Fortunately for Courtney, the also-pregnant Kelly Rain stepped in to drive her back to her car. Susan despaired, knowing that she and Janeane are no longer the only besties in the club. The new bestie power-alliance of Courtney and Kelly Rain bonded over babies, future poker dominance, and not naming their babies "Jason".

Before taking Courtney safely to her car 57 miles away, Kelly Rain played on with fire in her eyes. There was fear at the table, and Jason knew his life was in grave danger. Tim, however, decided he hadn't seen Jason in so long and needed a broski of his own, and put his AQ up against Kelly Rain's A10. With Kings on the board, the Queen played and Kelly Rain exited the game. Jason was visibly relieved. Kelly Rain was free to take Courtney to her car, and the babies have already sworn to join together and avenge their mothers.

Jason, seemingly unaware that his Luck Points™ ran out long ago, put Tim all in. Fate can be a cruel mistress sometimes... Not only did Tim flop the straight, the Turn and River continued it so that Tim's straight was long and hard. Not long after, Tim decided he was done with his new broski and went in against Susan and Jason. When the dust settled, Tim won the hand, Susan survived, and Jason was shown the door.

Speaking of Tim, he brought something new to the table for this game... the Three-Hand Shake-It-Off Timeout™ is now a thing. Tim put Dærick all in, which he called. Tim's 7s faced Dærick's KQ. After the Flop and Turn with trip 4s on the board, Tim's Full House looked to crush both Dærick and the South Bay Curse™. Alas, that was not to be... The SBC™ held firm, and delivered a Queen on the River. Wounded, Tim learned that the SBC™ is not so easily broken and that the CB!PL motto is ever-present. But now YOU can benefit from this adventure with Tim's handy new game strategy! Face an outcome that has you reeling and ready to flip a table? Try the new Three-Hand Shake-It-Off Timeout™ to get your head together, avoid inappropriate violent outbursts, and otherwise keep from being on tilt. When others comment that you're already on tilt, you too can reply "I'm not on tilt. That's why I took the break." Magic!

With Tim now completely calm and relaxed after his break, the game proceeded serenely and polite conversation ensued. That is, at least, until Fernando decided to contribute to the game and put Tim out of his misery. Having already had his timeout, the now-cheerful Tim accepted his inevitable fate and sat on the side watching the game, awaiting Susan's demise so they could make the 61 mile trek back to the car and head home. Susan, however, decided she wanted to stay for a while...

Dærick milked the power of home-court advantage to its fullest. Taking some decent hands early in the game, he managed to keep his stack generally in the top 4 for the bulk of the night. With the field now down to just four players, Dærick decided to remind people who's house they were in. Fernando found himself and his 7s up against Dærick's Qs, the Queens held and Fernando left the game.

And the bubble popped there...

Left at the table were Susan, Dærick, and oh yeah, Ron was playing too. With the game being just a hair past two hours in when Ron finally won his second hand, it was easy to forget that he was there playing in the same game as everyone else. Using the strategy of not-doing-much, Ron was able to slip under the radar and make it to the Top Three™.

It didn't take much longer from here, Dærick used his Mighty Chip Stack™ (there are rumors this is a compensation issue) to pick off both Ron and then Susan in turn. Despite winning several all in bets throughout the game, Susan ultimately met her fate. Making his triumphant return to actually making a difference in a game, Dærick took a solid 1st place in front of a home-field crowd.

And the official placements are as follows:

9th - Alec, knocked out by Jason
8th - Courtney, knocked out by Jason
7th - Kelly Rain, knocked out by Tim
6th - Jason, knocked out by Tim, taking home $10 in bounties
5th - Tim, knocked out by Fernando, taking home $10 in bounties
4th - Fernando, knocked out by Dærick, taking home $5 in bounties


3rd - Ron, knocked out by Dærick, taking home $25
2nd - Susan, knocked out by Dærick, taking home $60
1st - Dærick, taking home $115 and $20 in bounties

And so closes Game 8 of the CB!PL 2015 season, just two games left! Thanks to Kelly Rain and whatshisnose for hosting. Mike is grateful for the hosts keeping the SBC™ alive and well. Be sure to join next month for 7 Card Stud at the Walters' West Hills PokerDome of Doom™, where Janeane will be happy to finally have some stud in the house.


2015 Game 7


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August 15th, 2014:

It was a beautiful day in Moorpark. Warm and sunny, with a mild breeze as the day came to a close. 5 players would show up this evening to play poker, 4 would manage to keep playing after the sun went down...

It was an intimate affair as we sat 5 at the table for the final Omaha hoedown. We expected the game to be a lay affair, with old friends regaling each other with tales of comedy and tragedy, and enjoying a cool adult beverage along he way. In what can only be labeled "comedic tragedy", hand two proved to be to be the highlight of the game. At 5:00 into the game, the cards were dealt, and bets were made. Nothing unusual as chips were piled in the middle. 5:30 - the flop makes its way to the table, bets are made and chips go in again. Bets are getting bigger and the players are backing away slowly recognizing trouble was coming. We move to 6:00 an the turn is making the crowd nervous. Tim makes a larger bet and Mike calls. Things happen quickly, but as is often the case when adrenaline kicks in, time slowed down to a near standstill. The river card shows a 3rd diamond on the board and the crowd once again sensed trouble, slowly backing away from the table. Clouds rolled in, darkening the sky. Tim makes a large bet, and Mike smells blood in the water, tossing in a raise, but not a big one, hoping Tim will call. 3 seconds later, Tim makes the move heard round the world and shoves all in. This catches Mike off guard and launches him into a monologue where tried desperately to convince himself to fold, even if only one hand would beat him. But the odds were so great in his favor that he had to call! And he does. Tim spent the remaining minutes hoping his cards would see the light of day. And they would. As Mike shows his ace-high flush, Tim rocks his world with a monster, 1 in 1,173,696 straight flush. At 6:38 Mike was struck down by the only hand that could beat him. After making sure everyone knew he had to make the call, Mike was handed his Participant ribbon and asked to leave the room so his Participant funk wouldn't contaminate the rest of the group.

After that, Tim bullied the table for most oft he night, but he found consistent frustration from the player on his right. Time after time, Kelly and Tim found themselves heads-up, with Tim using his chip stack in an attempt to push her off the hand. He lost a boat load of chips early on when his full house was beaten by her full house. And then, as the bubble arrived, Kelly survived all-in after all-in, to a point where her stack was nearly as big as Tim's. The spirit of Danielle was strong in Kelly, but Tim would finally prevail. In the process, though, Kelly took home her first cash in her time with the CB!PL.

The game lasted quite a while considering the number of players and the fact that Tim was being dealt extra cards from Pokerus, god of poker. And everyone one seemed to be on the ropes at one point or another, except Tim, until they gave up their chips to the cause. Tensions were high when Dærick misdealt a hand that Kelly wanted desperately to play. We can only assume that one Gröss made it home that night.

Janeane was absent, but we had one of the most memorable F-bombs since Susan utter one as if she were hit with a single Tourette's attack after a loss. After a hand was completed, the table heard a soft voice utter "faawk!" in frustration. Some didn't hear it, but those who did will never forget it. The night's honorary F-bomb goes to Kelly!

At the end of the contest, the dead lined the standings, with Tim atop the heap.

5th - Mike, busted by Tim. Straight Flush over Flush in two hands and 6:38, taking the new record for fastest out.
4th - Dærick, busted by Susan. Full House over two pair.
3rd - Susan, by Tim. Flush over Trips, taking home $5 in bounties.
2nd - Kelly, by Tim. Full House over two pair, taking $35 in prize money.
1st - Tim, taking home $65 in prize money, $20 in bounties and an extra player's worth of bonus points.

This game handed out 16 bonus points, with 11 of them going to Tim!

Full houses - Tim 3, Kelly 2, Susan 2
Quads - Tim
Straight Flush - Tim
Seven Duece - Susan

We turn our focus to the September game, heading to the South Bay for cooler climes and hot poker action for Game 8. Players from all over will attempt to take home the cash and bragging rights. Many thanks to Susan for hosting the Omaha massacre. See you all in September!!


2015 Game 6

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July 18th, 2015:
This recap is essentially about one player. We had a fairly nice accomplishment with Mike coming back from the dead a couple times to win against the MASSIVE chip leader, Alec, and be the first to take the CB!PL Triple Crown award. To be fair, he won the harder two games, Stud and Omaha, first and had 3 shots at taking the crown. He can now play spoiler if he wins either Omaha or Stud this season, making it impossible for anyone else to get the crown. I (Tim) was hoping that he wouldn't take it, but the odds were in his favor by this game. And with that, I give a warm, heart-felt fart to Mike for the win, and pushing me out of first place (also helped by exiting early this time).

On to the rest of the festivities. We saw 2 new players that arrived with Alec. Unfortunately for Lewis (Louis? Loois? Liewehs?), as he got knocked out very early and his ride played the entire game. It was an interesting game this time around in Wacky West Hills. Within the first hour, Tim pulled down a 7/2 for a showed-down win. About 10 mins later, Susan got in on the action, taking down a pot with her own played pile o' shit!

Save for Susan's 7/2, the consensus was that literally nothing happened until Fernando showed up late after missing several flights in Las Vegas seeing what he could make happen in Vegas that he could leave in Vegas. Hopefully the pre-trip vaccinations worked and he came back bug free! Good Luck Fernando!! But, once he showed up, Fernando took the table lead in a few hands, making everyone one else wonder what the hell they were doing for the hour leading up to his arrival.

Play pushed on after the merge, after Tim and Alec renewed their heated rivalry, with each of them thinking they had suckered their rival out of their chips. Fate proved that it was Tim who was the sucker, as he filled in a king-high straight with the same card the filled in Alec's nut straight, sending Tim to the rail. (Goddammit Alec! If I had won and taken all those chips I wouldn't have collapsed at the end!!! Is that mean, did it hurt? I hope so. I'm still bitter a week and a half later. You may want to check your brakes. Just sayin'). That win gave Alec about 1/3 of all the chips with 8 to play. And that pile got to about 9/10 of the chips by heads-up.

The table was whittled down little by little. Kelly out-lasted her man-child again. Expect the table to turn on him like an injured animal when he plays again. Likely lead by his new Alpha-Wife who knew of the weakness all along, but is just now showing dominance. She also peed on him right before they left.

The game went on, and people lost a lot of chips. And the rail was populated by the hapless players that thought they had game. These are their stories:

11th - Big Lou, busted by Tim - runner runner nut flush over the pre-flop dominating AK.
10th - Dærick, busted by Tim - hit the straight over his flopped two pair.
9th - Tim, busted by Dammit Alec! - straight over straight., taking $10 in bounties
8th - Roman, busted by Alec - kicker over kicker sent Roman looking for another TGI Fridays so he could enjoy just a little more time on his night out.
7th - Kelly, busted by Susan - flush over high card, minutes before Dærick's final emasculation.
6th - Janeane, busted by Shawn (Sean? Syawn? Bob?) - I have no idea what it was, I was sitting on the couch and didn't know it happened until after.
5th - Shawn, busted by Alec, who was championing Janeane's honor - kicker over kicker, taking $5 in bounties.
4th - Fernando, busted by Mike, who finally showed up - flopped straight over 2 pair.

The bubble popped and the players below made a profit.

3rd - Susan, busted by Mike - 2 pair over a pair, taking $30 in prize money and $5 in bounties.
2nd - Alec, busted by Mike - pair over high card, taking $85 in prize money, $15 in bounties and hopefully a pile of shame to go with my scorn.

1st place, capturing the Triple Crown award, $135 in prize money and $25 in bounties, was Mike Walter, poker player extraordinaire and soon to be huge braggart. Congrats sir.

Janeane, sensing history was going to be made, was relatively quiet the whole night, but did manage to drop two F-Bombs. Once at 2:02 and again at 3:21.

Bonus points go out to the following:

Tim and Susan for the dreaded 7/2 winners.
Janeane, Tim and Dærick for full houses.

Mike took 5 extra points for the Triple Crown win. That gave him an impressive total of 37 points.

That's all she wrote. We throw down for Omaha at the McCaughan Mansion du Moorpark. Mon Dieu!!! Thanks to the Walters for throwing together the place for the game and screw you Alec.


2015 Game 5

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June 27th, 2015:
The June Doom and Gloom that is the Simi Seven Stud Spectacular came and went with some whimpers and bangs. Which was good since it appeared that only 2 people wanted to play on the prior Saturday, when it was originally scheduled. So far this season has shaped up to be the Tim and Mike show, with them both ending up 1/2 in 3 of the 5 games this season. And once again, heads up between them proved to be more entertaining than the rest of the game.

We had a full table full off regular misfits, plus one unruly gent who came back into the fold after a noticeable absence. The game started off like most of our stud games have in the past, with a lot of bitching about getting hit with the big blind over and over, which probably came from all of the players at one point. Chips moved all over the place at a regular pace, and everyone saw the chip lead or the low stack at some point. Tim probably had the big stack the longest after a couple nice busts relatively early in the game, but that didn't amount to a whole lot in the long run. As long as you had chips, you were dangerous. Mike rode the short stack pony right up to the rail, before spitting at Cooper sitting on the other side and turning around.

Janeane was relatively peaceful through most of the night, though as time went on and her boyfriend Fernando left, leaving her with the two people she hates, Tim and Mike. The Fbombs started to make their way to the table, joining us like old friends coming home for winter vacation in Australia. The highlight of the night was Dærick schooling us on how much he needed to be schooled on Metal, its bands, its offshoot bands, what songs said bands played, the fact it's not called Metal Rock and why he needed to be excused from the game for mistaking Van Halen for Motley Crue, though I will charge Cooper for criminal negligence for misleading him (as pointed out at the time, Dærick does indeed know his VH from MC and was merely answering Cooper's attempt at a hint - D). But if all was right and just, Dærick would have shot out a nut punch when he recognized Cooper's error. Instead they will share a cell in Music Prison whilst they contemplate the error of their ways and fight over who will be the top. And who gets the top bunk.

The game lost players at a regular pace, starting with Cooper, who pushed a giant pile of chips to Tim early, took most of them back and then gave them to Dærick. Fernando fumed over having shitty hand after shitty hand, and caught Tim in a mistake, taking a big chunk o' chips. Mike also got in on the action a couple times when Tim was feeling generous. We heard the usual exclamations from Janeane, demonstrating her frustrations with the way Tim played, as if his sole purpose in the game was to frustrate her to the point of being miserable. And it is. A service for which Mike pays monthly. Ben displayed some of his weird betting that usually flusters someone each time he plays.

When the dust and chips settled, we wound up with 5 losers, a 2nd place, and a not-loser.

7th - Cooper, busted by Dærick when he hit a runner runner flush
6th - Fernando, busted by Tim, who rivered two pair
5th - Dærick, busted by Tim, holding two pair over Dærick's Monopoly Money. He took home a fiver for his efforts
4th - Benjamin, busted by Janeane, who hit a straight over his trips
3rd - Janeane busted by Mike who took her on the skin bus to tuna town with his pair over her high card, taking $5 in bounties

The bubble popped, and this is where it got interesting. First off Tim looked to be in prime shape to widen his point lead for the season, with a commanding stake late in the game. But, Mike managed to do to Tim, what Tim did to him in Game 2: cut down his massive stack, hitting on the river to take the hand. Was that the end? Nope, it then looked like Tim was going to pull a reversal on Mike and slowly began to chip away at his stack. But the cards were not in his favor and any progress was met with a loss of chips that kept him from making any real headway. The hand of the night came late. With Janeane dealing for us, more to get the game over quicker than out of a love for dealing, she dealt two down, and then a monster two to both of us. A couple of checks and she dealt 9s to the table. Once more and twin Kings hit the board. The 4th up card turned out the be spiked with juju as well, as we both got 3s. So, with an identical board and the 7th card dealt, they checked once more, with Mike turn up a hidden queen to take down the once in 4,554,789,021 hand, and taking home a warm memory as well.

Ultimately, the last two spot went down like this:

2nd - Tim, busted by Mike, as Mike hit two pair against Tim's very awesome, but singular cards, taking $10 in bounties and $50 in prize money
1st - Mike, who closed the gap and became the first person eligible for the Triple Crown by winning Omaha and Seven Stud. He now has 3 shots at it this season!

Janeane was the only one to rack up bonus points, throwing down two full houses.

And the official F Bomb talley was 4, dropping at 1:30, 2:48, 3:00 and 3:05

Mad props to Tim for hosting, even though he was late to set up.

The next game coming up will be Hold Em in July at the Walters abode in West Hills. Throw up the "West Siiiiiiide!" and get your poker on!


2015 Game 4

(Sorry kids, no F-Bombs from Janeane this month. The first sign of the Apocolypse is upon us...)

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May 16th, 2015:
Back to Hold'Em for Game 4, this time in Redondo. We had two tables and a total of twelve players for this go-'round. Among the dirty dozen playing this month is the return of Alec, initially a very welcome sight for everyone. As will be seen later, by the end of the night the only people glad to have Alec back were Alec and Tim. Newcomers Brad and Moses also joined in the fun.

Thirteen seats were dealt inititially, due to a miscommunication with Jeremiah (sorry cuz, we thought you were coming). Karma poked Dærick in the eye early, as he was the one fate selected to change tables to even out the seating after having slandered everyone at that table well and good just minutes before. Needless to say, he was loved by all, as usual.

With both Tim and Dærick at the one table, no stories exist on how the other table progressed. Table 2 will live on in song and legend, Table 1 sadly is lost to history. What we do know, however, is the order that people started to drop out. The distinction of First Out to lead the way goes to newcomer Moses. Don't worry, Moses, we've all been there...

Next out was Game 1's big winner, Roman. Given the monster game Roman had in Game 1, Tim shed no tears seeing Roman exit early. Speaking of Tim, he was definitely keen to defend his position on the leaderboard. Despite his best efforts, ultimately the Poker Gods (praise be unto them) decided that Tim needed to sit this one out, and he was the third to bite the dust. Although he is uncertain what exactly he did to offend them, it is clear the Poker Gods (praise be unto them) were very unappy wth Tim, as they made sure that the person to escort him out of the game and collect his bounty was Dærick, for his only knockout of the night.

This game ended up being an odd one overall, as we had only two Legendary Hands, no F-Bombs (way to go, Janeane), and it went really late before the game was finally decided. Of the two Legendary Hands, we had the very rare appearance of a Straight Flush. Congrats to Alec for showing down the awesome. You can take another year off, if you'd like...

Despite facing off head to head for the last two games, neither Tim nor Mike made it to the money. After Tim decided he was done playing, Susan was next to fall. Mike was lonely without his poker bestie Tim, so he excused himself from the game next. Janeane, left without her poker bestie and her husband, made a prompt exit after that. The positions shook out as follows:

12th - Moses, busted by Fernando
11th - Roman, busted by Fernando
10th - Tim, busted by Dærick
9th - Susan, busted by John #3
8th - Mike, busted by Fernando
7th - Janeane, busted by Ron
6th - Brad, busted by John #3
5th - Dærick, busted by Ron
4th - John #3, busted by Alec

And so, the bubble burst (pop!)... Alec got his first taste of blood in over a year, and it proved to be too much for the table to withstand.

3rd - Ron, busted by Alec
2nd - Fernando, busted by Alec
1st - Alec, busted by no one

Fernando and Alec traded cards and chips back and forth for a while. The game went long into the night, but ultimately there could be only one. Alec used the power of his mighty beard, and finally defeated the not-as-bearded Fernando. Although faint, one could swear they could hear something in the distance, almost as if there was shouting for joy from way afar. Funny how much like Tim the wind can sound down at the beach...

As mentioned, bonus points were scarce this month. Kudos to Alec for showing down the Straight Flush. Don't ever do that again, Alec.

John - Full house
Alec - Straight Flush

Thank you to Dærick for hosting, and for not letting Tim win again. You may not remember what placing in the top 3 feels like, but it is appreciated that you continue to try so hard.


2015 Game 3

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April 18th, 2015:
We played our first game in West Hills this month. There wasn't much on the line except by the time the cards flew, Tim was the only one who could take a larger claim to the Triple Crown award. Outside of that we expected a crazy game, as they usually are when the CB!PL Posse rolls into Omaha. We had John K show his face for his once-a-year visit to the League, keeping in touch with the common man. Ron, strangely enough, was MIA for the game he loves so much. Also, Fernando missed his bitch. And finally, Susan was playing nurse for one of her loved ones, who needed her more than she needed to play poker and we all agree. Hopefully she will be with us next time.

There were a few notable things from the game. One was that Mike was running on empty, having had no sleep the night before. What that lead to was 3 or 4 misdeals, and forgetting how to play those misdeals, a rule he championed as an official rule change for the 2015 season. The wind from the fan played a part in a couple of misdeals, but there were a few deals where confusion was evident. The Gröss/Collin relationship began to show some cracks as Dærick, realizing that the student has possibly bested the teacher (no way I'm calling him master!), began to toss insults with a smile on his face. Was it a tactic to get her off her game, or has jealousy in the poker world sunk this relationship? Time will tell!

And, at the 2:28 mark of the game, Dærick's unusual methods ruined the game, and added a possible nick name (Eleven-One). Dærick had been saying his bets weirdly and betting odd amounts all night, and the table decided to fight back. After betting "Eleven-One", the flood gates opened and everyone at the table made ridiculous bets the rest of the night. Dærick, we hate you. We have two choices: put up with it and be annoyed, or we admonish him for his misdeeds throughout the night, which he basks in. So it's damned if we do or fuck you Dærick. [This, by the way, is only going to encourage my behavior. Thank you, Tim -D]

Fate was fickle this night, and she most often showed her displeasure on the river... Many times throughout the night someone would shake their fist to the air and curse the Poker Gods, lamenting our painfully learned league motto. Oh, that damn, fucking river...

This game was REALLY quick. Possibly the shortest game we've had since The League formed, decades ago. When all was said and done, we closed the table down at right around the three hour mark. There was no second game, because everyone who got busted assumed that play would go on for much longer. Nope. The first 5 players out all fell within about an hour's time, and first and second was wrapped up about 10 hands later.

Last month, this happened; "That left Mike with a monster stack heads up against Tim, who had slowly climbed out of poverty to play for a chance at the win." Remember this....

Shortly after the first color up, we began to line up the donkeys at the rail. One by one they fell, until one remained. Game 3's standings lit up like this:

7th - John, busted by Mike
6th - Fernando, busted by Tim
5th - Dærick, busted by Mike
4th - Janeane, busted by Tim
3rd - Kelly, busted by Tim

And so here we are again, Tim and Mike facing off to take first. Mike coming in with a pile o' chips and Tim having to get there by bobbing and weaving through all the large hands that surfaced all night. Last month, Tim managed to whittle away at Mike's stack, eventually taking 1st place. This month it happened again!! All the way up to the point where it didn't. Tim took a couple of pots and ended up bringing a knife to a gunfight on the final hand and was the last person sent to the rail. The remaining places shaped like this:

2nd - Tim, busted by Mike, taking $15 in bounties and $50 in prize money.
1st - Mike, taking $20 in bounties, and $100 in prize money.

Since it was Omaha, you can bet there were bonus points flying around all over the place. Fernando and I were not on the list, so we didn't get into the Bonus Points Club this month.

Full houses:
Kelly - 3
Janeane - 3

Four of a Kind:

And due to the fact is was such a short game, we only heard two F Bombs from Janeane. But, one was uttered as her young, innocent child sat on her lap, so it's worth 3.

Muchas Gracias to Mike and Janeane for hosting the shin dig. Next month, we head to the South Bay to the the home of Dærick and Kelly. Poker will be played and Dærick will probably wear a kilt. [Challenge accepted. -D]


2015 Game 2

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March 14th, 2015:
Our second game of the season started off in typical fashion, chips moving around the table, and ended with fireworks that are not usually seen except on the Fourth of July. What would prove to be a sign of things to come was the very early exit of Fernando. He was first-out for the first time in two years. The table was devastated, but got over it quickly as Fernando walked out the door and Susan yelled out "Hey, you got a point!" in a sorry/not sorry kinda way.

Tim had continued to shovel chips to all those playing and was teetering on the edge until Fernando pushed and Tim called, giving him some breathing room and settling the rest of the table down. Things continued on fairly uneventfully for a couple of hours, chips moving around and just about everyone dipping low in the lap of luxury, as ZZ Top once put it.

Paul, Ron, Cooper, Courtney and Janeane help out for quite a while, but eventually dropped their chips off somewhere else.

Down to 4, Dærick and Tim went at it and Dærick shoved his stack in. Tim was sitting with a pair of 6s and after a considerable deliberation, he called to see Dærick was holding AK. Tim was relieved and then crushed to see the flop as an Ace then a King show up on the board. The turn was junk and Tim was left with a two-outer to stay alive. Odds of that happening are 2.5% per out, giving Dærick a 95% chance of crippling Tim and likely ending his game soon. Dærick, dealing his own fate, slowly turned the card over to reveal the 6 and ending his night in spectacular fashion. The hand of the season kept Tim in the game and foreshadowed the theme for the rest of the game.

This left Susan, Mike and Tim to battle it out for their part of the cash. Play continued until Mike and Susan went head to head with Susan and once again, the river dealt it's magic and Susan was sent to the rail. That left Mike with a monster stack heads up against Tim, who had slowly climbed out of poverty to play for a chance at the win. The tide turned when they both went all in, with Tim dominating Mike with KJ over QJ. Tim's hand held up and Mike had to push over 180,000 across the table. A few hands later and Mike pushed with Tim holding a pair of 7s. Tim flopped a 3rd 7 making Mike's chances to win the hand approaching zero. And, in what would be the final F-U of the night, Tim spiked the fourth 7 on the river, ending the night with authority, giving Tim an extra 3 points to go with the win. CB!PL's motto was definitely on everyone's mind tonight, as river after river determined people's fate.

The game shaped up like this:

10th - Fernando, busted by Tim
9th - Paul, busted by Dærick
8th - Ron, busted by Tim
7th - Cooper, busted by Mike
6th - Courtney, busted Susan
5th - Janeane, busted by Dærick
4th - Dærick, busted by Tim, taking $10 in bounties

The bubble popped leaving:

3rd - Susan, busted by Mike, taking $5 in bounties and $30 in prize money.
2nd - Mike, busted by Tim, taking $10 in bounties and $70 in prize money.
1st - Tim, taking in $25 in bounties and $125 in prize money.

Janeane was remarkably F-Bomb free until the 3:16 mark of the game, but then unloaded them again at 3:26, 3:28 and 3:30. There may have even been more, but by then poker was getting exciting, so we may have missed some.

We had several points handed our for bonus hands:

Mike - Full house
Dærick - Full house
Janeane - Full house
Susan - Two full houses
Tim - Quads

Hearty Irish thanks to Susan McIrish for hosting. We travel far to the west for the next game, as we throw down the gauntlet for our first Omaha tournament of the season at the Walter's. The whiskey will flow and then chips will move around the table for sure!!


2015 Game 1

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February 7th, 2014:
The C'Mon, Baby! Poker League opened the 2015 Season with a bang, dealing cards to the largest game we've had in 2 seasons! Twelve players sat, but only one remained. And, unfortunately for us all, Dærick visited the hot-tub time machine and came back as himself, but much worse. Much, much, showing-too-much-thigh-skin worse. While you continue reading this, I'll be off looking for this infernal time machine to ensure we never have to see anything like this again. If you're reading this and weren't at the game, you have no idea...

Like I said, we sat 12 players, including Janet, who was completely new to The League, and Roman, who has played with some of us before, but made his first League appearance this time around. There will be more on his appearance later and he may not be invited back. With 12 players, we needed two tables. Seated at Table 2 were Mike, Janeane, Kelly, Roman, Fernando and Ron. The Main Table had Tim, Cooper, Susan, Janet, Jeremiah and Dærick. A casual observance of the action at each table showed that pots were about 3 times larger at the Main Table, which is probably why 4 of the first 5 people booted to the rail came from that table.

There were a few exciting things happening that night. Janet made a bold move to try to become the first player to win a hand with 7/2. Jeremiah smelled blood in the water and made short work of that, sending her packing as the boldest First-Out in quite some time. Ron was involved in an exciting all-in, spiking a full house on the river to keep hope alive and ensure he made it to the merge. He was also the author of one of the best quotes to come out of a CB!PL game in quite some time when he uttered this beauty: "I'm your bitch and that's the way it goes!"

But, we can announce a true achievement in CB!PL history: THE SEVEN-DEUCE CHERRY HAS BEEN POPPED!!! Fernando found himself in the right spot, at the right time, and checked his way into history by pairing up his monster 2 with the board's 2 to take down the hand, and become a CB!PL Legend! We now wait for the trinity to be complete when the Boba Fett badge and Triple Crown badge get awarded. Could this be the year?

Cooper managed to get on a tear, collecting chips like Dærick collects boogers behind the head of the bed (you may want to look into that, Kelly). By the merge, his stack had it's own zip code, and it was fueled many times by Tim's chips, though we all fell victim to his winning ways......for a while. Tim rode a roller coaster for most of the night, having to go all-in 7, yes SEVEN, times in order to keep playing. He won 6 of them. Roman saw what Cooper had going on and decided to take a page from his book, shaking up Cooper and allowing Tim some comfort when he watched Cooper hit the rail at the bubble (POP!).

In the end, Game One lined up 11 players on the wall, all to be laughed at by one. Here are the results:

12th - Janet, busted by Jeremiah
11th - Kelly, busted by former friend Roman
10th - Susan, busted by Cooper
9th - Dærick, busted by Cooper
8th - Jeremiah, busted by Cooper, taking $5 in bounties
7th - Mike, busted by Fernando
6th - Janeane, busted by Fernando (Note: The Walters often go out one after the other. Like a really old married couple when one dies and the other gives up on life.)
5th - Ron, busted by Cooper
4th - Cooper, busted by Roman, earning $15 in bounties for his efforts.

The bubble popped here.

3rd - Tim, busted by Roman, taking $30 in prize money.
2nd - Fernando, busted by Roman, taking $95 in prize money and $10 in bounties.

That left Roman standing atop the pile of bodies, taking first place by channeling Cooper, but taking it a step further. He won $150 in prize money and $25 in bounties, making it the largest prize pool CB!PL has seen in two seasons, and making Roman a marked man. A very marked man.

Janeane chose the path of the nearly-righteous and only dropped one F Bomb at the one-hour mark. That meant she had a relatively uneventful night, since the F Bombs usually correspond to one of the following: big hand with Mike and she's forced to make a tough call, ANY hand with Tim and forced to make ANY call, a big, bad beat, or any hand where she could have gotten a Royal Flush if she played it out.

Not much in the way of bonus points this time around, with Ron, Mike and Janeane each getting a point for full houses.

Mad props to Tim for hosting this shindig. We now look forward to March's Game where we travel to mysterious and exotic Moorpark, and Susan's casino, on March 14th.


Game 7


Game 8
















Game 9




















2015 Championship